I was asked to ask five things I love about myself and then ask others as well. It took some time, but here it is:

1. I don’t give up. If I believe in someone or something, I stick to it no matter what challenges come forth.

2. I’m weird. I don’t care who you are or what you do, I will do anything I please. It can be gross or funny, just depends on the day.

3. I don’t love easily. I don’t trust people. I’ve only been in love twice. I don’t actually develop feelings for anyone, but when I do it’s really rare. If I love you, damn do I love you.

4. I’m really creative actually. I love designing things for my room to decorate my walls. I write a lot, and take pictures. My music taste is very unique as well.

5. I’m competitive. Being to competitive is a bad thing, but if you use it the right way it’s not. I use it to get better at sports or school to show the people who think they’re better than everyone else that they are no different from me and the rest of us.

I saw him today. I’m still not used to him yet. He left for years and finally returned. He’s different, but deep down there are parts of him I can tell are the person I knew. Tonight I saw that. The way you showed interest in me and the way you looked at me. It felt like it was all those years ago. It was the first time we’ve basically been alone since everything happened. I don’t know how to feel honestly. He’s the only thing that can make me feel like my head is spinning. Hearing his voice was what felt like home. He is home to me, I mean he always has been. I want that feeling again. I don’t know if I still love him. It’s been so long. But I sure as hell miss him, and I probably always will. I just am stuck and don’t know what to do about him and this and us anymore.